majingojira:

espanolbot2:

The fact that the novel Dracula is told from multiple perspectives has been used by various folks as a means to spin the novel in different ways by playing to the whole “unreliable narrator“ thing.

A typical example of this line of thinking is picking up on how Dracula’s POV isn’t shown within the story itself, and using it as a launching point to portray Dracula in a more heroic or anti-heroic life.

We don’t really know as an audience WHY Dracula decides to invade Britain within the novel, so some creators say that it was, say, to hook up with the reincarnation of his dead wife (who is frequently Mina Murray) for example. Framing what was a straight-up horror story as a paranormal romance instead.

Thing is… although one of the most common reinterpretations of Dracula is him being in a relationship of some kind with Mina, that… actually doesn’t work within the context of the original book, unreliable narrator or not.

See, within the novel, Dracula actually finds the various notes the narrators had made and attempts to destroy them to throw the vampire hunters off his trail. Mina is actually the person who re-assembles the notes and diaries and such and creates the timeline of events described within the novel.

In universe, Mina Harker WROTE Dracula, so if there were an actual kinda romantic thing going on instead of the whole “coded sexual assault“ thing the story actually portrays, it’s not actually depicted as such in the book.

…Which isn’t to say that other interpretations can’t be used, queer interpretations of the Mina/Lucy relationship for example. Or how the death of Van Helsing’s son and his wife being committed to an asylum may possibly be tied to his earlier experiences with the supernatural, for another.

Mina and Dracula as a romantic couple… More than a touch creepy, and not in the way that creators such as Francis Ford Coppola intended.

I forget who said it (it may have been you), but someone said that Coppola’s Dracula owes more to Dark Shadows than the Novel itself. 

demon-lord-nic:

chaosauxilatrix:

italeteller:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

holdonearmbar:

sketchiedetails:

trilllizard666:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

the-x-button:

imma be real here

piranha plant is legitimately a better addition to smash than fire-fighting starter pokemon #48320

i have just been informed that incineroar, the fucking pokemon thats based on wrestlers, knows a bunch of wrestling and fighting attacks, looks like this

and is constantly seen in wrestling ring

is not fire-fighting, but fire-dark

hes dark type because hes a heel

a what

in professional wrestling a heel is a wrestler acting as the villain, being rude and underhanded

in fact incineroar is called the Heel Pokemon

badguy wrestler

think more Stone Cold or Brock Lesnar rather than John Cena

He’s meant to draw the ire of the audience

If he isn’t getting under your skin he’s doing a bad job

Dark is Evil in Japan, therefore he is a Fire Evil type.

Also you could go further into wrestling terminalogy and say that the heel usually gets the heat of the babyface and then the babyface makes a comeback.

He’s the big heel of the pokemon universe, and he’s based off of one the most popular Japanese Junior heavyweights of all time’s arch rival the Black Tiger.

this is so dumb hes still based on wrestlers

wrestling is very much not fighting tho

If you wanna go really meta, the whole pokemon community was so done with fire/fighting types, especially after getting a break in the form of Braixen, that seeing Incineroar made everybody go apeshit

And then he was revealed to be a dark type instead of fighting

He was designed to make you mad from day 1

In other words, he’s a heel in a meta sense as well.

Never really been into Pokemon but I like this one just because he was designed to piss people off

sindri42:

celestialmechanic:

biggaybunny:

prettyflyforajeskai:

trenchgun:

gayunclejunkrat:

i dont understand half of the words here but god if this isn’t the funniest thing i’ve ever read

im pretty sure red and blue weren’t programmed but just sort of… mutated into cartridges

Red and blue are why QA teams were invented

for fuck’s sake they weren’t badly programmed. They were bleeding edge. It’s so easy to forget that but Red and Blue were literally pushing the limits of what they could fit on the cartridge.

They used every trick in the book. In that way, the programming behind them is GENIUS. It’s frankly a lost art, in this era where hardware is insanely cheap and scalable, when you can just keep throwing more resources at the problem. But Red & Blue were when programmers had to get creative. Not currently using a piece of memory? Repurpose it, we can’t just leave it lying around. Only have a couple registers? Juggle them, keep careful track so we can restore them when we needed. Does this data need to be single purpose, or can we also use it for, say, a seed value?

And all this WORKED. I guarantee you 99% of children playing this never saw a bug in casual play. MODERN games are buggier by a landslide. Remember when X&Y came out and there was an ENTIRE CITY you couldn’t save in because it’d DELETE YOUR SAVE? Imagine that happening in the days of Red&Blue. It couldn’t have. I can turn on my red cartridge TODAY and have it work. And the bugs that did exist, those edge cases they missed? They produce this behavior because the game REFUSES TO CRASH. Sure, you can make it crash if you try hard enough, but goddamn it’s resilient. It just plugs away with garbage data in memory for as long as possible.

Y’all looking down from your 64-bit quad-core smartphones with 128GB SD cards like Red & Blue were programmed by amateurs. What, you also going to bitch that the Wright Brothers didn’t make a jet engine? These are artifacts from pioneers who wrote the goddamn book that others would use as gospel.

Sincerely,
a pissed off goddamn programmer.

The Game Boy has 8 kilobytes of RAM. Most of the icons on this site could not fit into the working memory of a Game Boy intact.

If somebody tried to make Pokemon Blue today it would take them like 1.2 GB and require a 500 MB day one patch to function properly. Those programmers were fucking wizards.

rustybottlecap:

honoured-knight:

spacehunter-m:

Imagine tuning into this scene during some late night ‘80s

television airing without any prior warning or context.

Which Ultraman series is this from?

It’s from a movie made in Thailand called “Hanuman vs. 7 Ultraman” or “The 6 Ultra Brothers vs. the Monster Army”, depending on the version.

It’s a very weird movie and it’s infamous for causing a long, convoluted legal dispute over who owns Ultraman.

EDIT: Actually the video is from an illegal movie called “Space Warrior 2000″ that uses footage from the aforementioned movie and some other Ultraman series all to the tune of weird music choices. It greatly contributed to said legal dispute. It can be found online.

ladytp:

x-cetra:

squiggelsquirrel:

neuroticsquirrl:

acciolilyc:

samjohnssonvt:

heyheyrenay:

hermitsoul:

programmedradly:

However, this bit of nonsense single-handedly illustrates why we should never try and create an official AO3 app (aside from, you know, not even having enough personnel to build and maintain the desktop version while also dealing with server emergencies and trying to train new developers)–

–in that we would literally have to design, prototype, build, test, and refine *two* mobile apps at the same time (three if you count Windows phones) (so, two) (rimshot) and then go through an arduous app store approval process not once, but twice, and then PROVIDE TECHNICAL SUPPORT AND KEEP UP WITH OS UPDATES AND HARDWARE CHANGES FOR TWO. ENTIRELY. DIFFERENT. PLATFORMS. FOREVER.

(Also, we don’t even have an API yet, lol, that would be the first step, WE AREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO HAVING AN API, ALL DISCUSSIONS ABOUT APPS END HERE.)

Asking for “an AO3 app” is like asking for “a thing to get me places” and then being mad when you’re presented with the promise of a car, because you don’t have a driver’s license and what you really meant was a bike, except there are people who can’t ride bikes and would like to go places too, so the car is a good start at least, PLEASE STOP YELLING.

In addition, the people who now have to design and build a bike for you are also building the road at the same time. For free. In their spare time. While also holding down full-time jobs and taking care of their families. Also, people are yelling at them to go faster the whole time, and build that damn bike and that damn car already, it’s fucking 2015, HOW IS THERE NO AO3 APP YET GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BITCHES.

(actual quotes)

If you’re now wondering if there are really that many people asking for an app to warrant this kind of post, isn’t the website perfectly usable on mobile, like, I was reading some fic on my phone earlier, it was fine, why would people clamor for an app–

hahaha haha hahahasjlkjdlksjdlksjd

sdfkdj.

so, what you are saying is that an app will be coming soon, right?

this killed me. i’m dead. 

Renay: 

archive of our own lol but seriously the abuse and harassment from fandom over this app what is up with the entitlement what exactly would an app do that the website doesn’t currently do companies have just convinced people everything needs an app this is a lie use the website love the website it’s a pretty great website i still think all app questions should be answered with a picture of grumpy cat saying NO and this is why sam won’t hire me for support

I really really really wish they were lying about the tone of some of the tickets.

I really do.

I’m not sure, though, exactly what an app’s supposed to do, though, that the site doesn’t. The seemingly most common request (after “it’ll look better”, which lolwut) is “allow me to read offline”. Last I asked a dev, the works database, not counting the tags linking which allows for filtering, is north of 100GB. Also, the mobile interface allows for downloads, so…

I dunno.

(For reference, when Renay says “hire for support”, she means “allow to volunteer”. We are not paid, which makes some of those tickets…even better.)

My personal vote @heyheyrenay is to answer all the tickets with “anyway, here is wonderall [LINK TO THE NO APP POST]. @samjohnssonvt will also not let me do this, idk why… xD

Ok here’s the thing: apps are a scam. Particularly apps that allow you to access content that you can otherwise access in a browser, that make that content “prettier” or “more user friendly” on mobile. There is no reason the organisations in question can’t just build a mobile website, that you can access through the browser of your choice, or make their main website look good and be usable on mobile browsers, just like AO3 does. Literally none.

But viewing websites in the browser of your choice allows you to do all sorts of other things. Use ad blockers for staters. Use “Do not track” and browser extensions that protect your privacy.

And companies where you are the product – Google, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Medium, Reddit, mainstream media and news outlets, most commercial websites – they have no interest in protecting your privacy, no interest in giving you the freedom to not look at ads, to view their website through a standard interface that you can choose and customise (i.e. a browser).

Their interest is in collecting as much of your data as possible. In pushing as many ads on you as possible. In using all the data leakage from your phone (is your location on?) to build more and more detailed profiles of you, to better target ads so they can make money off you.

And that’s a hell of a lot easier if they’re in control of the technical infrastructure you use to access their site (i.e. an app) than if you are by using a browser.

You don’t need an app to read fic. You’ve just been taught to want one by people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

Web developers have spent a huge amount of time developing open standards for the web instead of leaving it in the control of big corporations  — that’s why sites like AO3 can exist in the first place, and why you don’t need to use a specific browser to view the website of your choice. It’s better for security, performance, functionality…

You don’t ask for a desktop app — in fact being told to download, install, and run an application on your desktop when you could just be viewing a website through a browser, would raise serious complaints and security concerns — frankly, it would be regarded as suspicious as hell.

Mobile apps are no different. There are times when they are appropriate, just like there are times when installing an application on your desktop is appropriate, but if it could just be a mobile-friendly website instead, it really should be.

Not to mention as soon as you have an app, Apple starts trying to impose its standards of “appropriate” content. If the site has content Apple deems inappropriate, the app gets yanked, and then your unpaid volunteers have wasted their time making an app (that, or we get trapped back in the very situation AO3 was created to combat: letting corporations, which care nothing about fandom except how to exploit it for profit, control and censor fan content.)

Dear me! I use AO3 on my phone all the time and it has never ever occurred to me that it would need to be an app. WTF?

And not only here, but in general, the entitlement of people for getting more free products, be they websites like AO3, fics, music or videos, and getting pissy when they don’t get it HERE and NOW, is just mind boggling! 

*sigh*

bogleech:

chaosauxilatrix:

italeteller:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

holdonearmbar:

sketchiedetails:

trilllizard666:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

wheel-skellington:

the-x-button:

the-x-button:

imma be real here

piranha plant is legitimately a better addition to smash than fire-fighting starter pokemon #48320

i have just been informed that incineroar, the fucking pokemon thats based on wrestlers, knows a bunch of wrestling and fighting attacks, looks like this

and is constantly seen in wrestling ring

is not fire-fighting, but fire-dark

hes dark type because hes a heel

a what

in professional wrestling a heel is a wrestler acting as the villain, being rude and underhanded

in fact incineroar is called the Heel Pokemon

badguy wrestler

think more Stone Cold or Brock Lesnar rather than John Cena

He’s meant to draw the ire of the audience

If he isn’t getting under your skin he’s doing a bad job

Dark is Evil in Japan, therefore he is a Fire Evil type.

Also you could go further into wrestling terminalogy and say that the heel usually gets the heat of the babyface and then the babyface makes a comeback.

He’s the big heel of the pokemon universe, and he’s based off of one the most popular Japanese Junior heavyweights of all time’s arch rival the Black Tiger.

this is so dumb hes still based on wrestlers

wrestling is very much not fighting tho

If you wanna go really meta, the whole pokemon community was so done with fire/fighting types, especially after getting a break in the form of Braixen, that seeing Incineroar made everybody go apeshit

And then he was revealed to be a dark type instead of fighting

He was designed to make you mad from day 1

In other words, he’s a heel in a meta sense as well.

The dark type actually is thematically an alternate fighting type and both its moves and weaknesses reflect that! “fighting dirty” is culturally thought of as its own martial arts style in Japan and myriad fictional characters are based on that!