Dominaria legendary creature Slimefoot, the Stowaway, illustrated by Alex Konstad As Jhoira restored the Weatherlight, a mushroom growing in its hold unexpectedly became her first crew member.
Imagine being a Polish citizen and you hear the American president say he’s here to fuck and he’s not leaving
if anyone’s interested, apparently the interpreter (while he did speak Polish) spoke it as a fourth language and wasn’t quite as firm in it as French and Russian. so he accidentally chose a way of saying the president wanted to “learn about the desires of the Polish people” that wasn’t innocuous but implied sexual desire and a form of “leaving Washington” with connotations of abandoning it
they quietly replaced him with another interpreter two days later- who couldn’t understand Carter’s southern accent and thus didn’t try to translate his words at all
a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge
Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.
“Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bast’s tits, that’s a terrible thing to do to a kitten.“
Ten got up on her hind legs. “Never trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, let’s give her our gifts.”
“Like half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.“
“Quite right too,“ said Ten wisely, “it’s got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. That’ll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.“
Ebony copied her sister’s pose. “And may you always catch the flying things. Then you’ll never be hungry, and that’s much better than fairy wishes.”
***
Thirty years later, Alba was everyone’s favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleagues’ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person they’d ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosure…
Monsters and Stuff 